So, after my mind-blowing first chat with a genetic counsellor, I felt like a low-budget superhero with a newly discovered power (Literally). Armed with my DNA knowledge, I was ready to take on the world or at least, my diet.

That’s when my counsellor dropped a line that changed everything: “You might benefit from a nutrigenomics session.”

At first, I thought she’d sneezed in Latin. Nutri-what-now? Apparently, nutrigenomics is this magical science that studies how your genes and your food talk to each other behind your back. Like your DNA is hosting a gossip session with your lunch.

Naturally, I was intrigued. I mean, I’d spent years blaming my weight on slow metabolism and my energy crashes on “bad vibes,” but what if the real culprit had always been my genes whispering “sabotage” to my salad?

So I signed up. And let me tell you this was no basic “don’t eat junk food” lecture. Nope. This counsellor had receipts. She first got me tested and then looked at my genetic data and told me I’m more sensitive to carbohydrates (so, ugali and I are apparently in a toxic relationship), I process caffeine slower than most guys (so those 4 p.m. lattes? Yeah, that’s why I stare at the ceiling until 2 a.m.) and get this my body loves leafy greens whooohooo!!

Now, hold on. Did my genes just say I’m built for kale? Kale?! You know kale, right? That leafy, scratchy, slightly bitter leaf that healthy people pretend to enjoy? The one that makes you feel like you’re chewing a dish sponge dipped in chlorophyll?

Still, I tried. I bought kale. Cooked it with onions. Put on some music. Ate it slowly. Chewed like I was in a food commercial. And… I hated it slightly less than usual. Progress!

But more importantly, I understood why my body craves certain things and why some diets worked for my friends but made me feel like a wilted plant hahaha! It’s not willpower. It’s science.

So now, I’ve made peace with my new kale destiny. We’re still in the awkward dating stage, but I think we’re getting there. I’m swapping sodas for infused water (with lemon AND vibes of course), cutting carbs slowly, and I’m even experimenting with smoothies. I call them “gene-approved potions.”

The best part? I don’t feel like I’m fighting my body anymore. I feel like I’m working with it. It’s like my genes and I finally shook hands and agreed to stop sabotaging each other.

So here’s what I’ve learned: Your DNA can’t force you to eat better…but it sure can help you understand why some things work better for you than others.

And if kale isn’t your thing? That’s okay. There are options. Even science agrees bland food is not a destiny.

Stay tuned for Episode 3, where I try to convince my sceptical auntie that genetic counselling isn’t witchcraft (wish me luck).

With love and a little genetic curiosity, The GeneTrans Team